Are you ready to hear a story from my life where I messed up big time?
Let’s rewind to my 62nd birthday last year.
It should’ve been a day of celebration, but instead, it turned into a bit of a trainwreck.
In the evening, I ended up having a heated argument with some of my kids over something completely irrelevant (and for the life of me, I can’t even remember what it was).
What I do remember is the way it made me feel.
You know how birthdays can sometimes be a magnifying glasses?
Well, this one revealed some cracks in my family dynamics that I hadn’t been fully aware of.
As some of you know, I’ve been a mum since I was 19.
My six children, who now range in age from 31 to 43, mean the absolute world to me.
But something shifted that day.
I suddenly saw how much of myself I’d traded over the decades.
How often I’d put my happiness on the back burner to keep the peace.
How I’d built my identity around being needed, helpful, and available as a mum, relating to adult children as if they were still little.
I was living in a time loop.
And the Universe, in its infinite wisdom, gave me a wake-up call.
It was time to get with the program of STAYING IN MY OWN LANE.
Not just minding my own business (although that too).
But staying in the middle of my lane.
Because the truth is:
The best ‘high-functioning relationships’ start from the inside out.
When you’re anchored, grounded, and deeply at home in yourself, you automatically show up better in all your relationships.
But if you’re scattered, depleted, or subconsciously begging for crumbs of love, it ripples out into everything.
So let me ask you a question:
- Are you a valued and respected person in your own home?
- Do you feel cherished, safe, and seen in your closest relationships?
I had to admit to myself that if I wanted to be seen as a ‘high-value woman,’ I needed to start treating myself that way, by making my own happiness / health / wealth a priority and by staying in the middle of my lane.
I had to stop crossing lines or letting others crash into my lane.
One of the tools that really helped me stay centered is the following powerful 5-step morning practice.
(Get your notebook out and write down the answers to these 5 questions)
1. What am I grateful for today?
Even if it’s just one thing — the smell of your morning coffee, a bird outside your window, the fact that you woke up.
Gratitude lifts the fog and changes your inner chemistry to life-enhancing emotions.
Gratitude can’t live in the same place as shame, blame, anger, hurt or sadness, and by deliberately choosing 5 minutes of gratitude every morning, you start creating new neural pathways that support the NEW CENTRED YOU.
2. Where am I winning?
Your brain has a negativity bias.
It will always tell you what you haven’t done.
So remind it where you’ve shown up! Maybe you drank more water.
Maybe you rested when you needed to.
Maybe you sent the email you were avoiding.
You went for a walk, or you cleaned the laundry.
Your inner dialogue might have been friendlier than the day before.
Count the wins, no matter how small.
3. What must I let go of today?
Is it control? A painful story? A grudge? Shame?
You can’t build your dream future dragging the baggage of the past.
Lighten your load.
Let the old stories compost into wisdom.
Did you know that most humans have a huge rear vision mirror and a tiny windscreen when it comes to viewing their lives?
Make sure you change this!
Clear your windscreen and make sure it’s big enough to hold your dreams and shrink your past (your scoreboard of hurts and failures) to the size of a small rear vision mirror.
You only need to glance into your past every so often for course correction.
4. What does my ideal day ahead look like?
Paint the picture in your mind.
Set your intention.
Do you want your day to be peaceful, productive, alone or connecting with others?
Script it.
Your energy will follow because energy always follows intention.
Make sure you infuse the energy of playfulness in your day, because that helps dissolve the energy of trauma.
5. What needs to be said at the end?
What do you want to be true when your head hits the pillow tonight?
That the Universe supported you in every way?
That you stayed in your lane, no matter who tried to pull you out of it?
Staying in your lane only works when we are in charge of our mindset.
We often believe that we are our mind, but we are much more than that.
Your mind is just another organ, like your liver or kidney and the voice that narrates your entire day is not you.
It’s part of your survival software.
It’s been programmed to spot danger and keep you safe.
But if you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, and air in your lungs, you’re safe.
You don’t need to spend your day reacting to imaginary threats or tigers.
You can turn the volume down on that overactive mind … and start listening to something deeper like your intuition, your joy, your inner knowing.
Keep your mind in the middle of your lane and be a safe person for YOU.
Make your body your home.
Stop trying to be everything for everyone.
Stop trying to fix what isn’t yours to fix and come home to yourself.
You are an eternal soul, wrapped in a miraculous human body.
And you have every right to take up space, breathe deeply, and enjoy your life.
Here’s to staying in your lane, being your own best friend, and showing the world what a high-value person looks like.
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