Chances are that your inner critic is running the show.
Every day we give ourselves 60000+ negative messages.
We are so used to it, that we don’t even pay any attention to it.
But, that doesn’t mean the cells in your body aren’t feeling browbeaten and exhausted from the constant barrage of negativity.
It is impossible to silence the inner critic.
But, it is totally possible to transform your inner critic into your inner coach and best friend.
Let me explain.
When you were a little kid, your parents may have yelled at you, told you off, put you on time out, smacked you, or worse.
Why did they do this?
To keep you safe.
The real intent was to keep you out of harm’s way, so you wouldn’t set the house on fire or burn yourself when you played with matches, run out in front of a car, destroy the furniture, or hurt your siblings.
So they said things like:
- Are you stupid?
- You naughty girl!
- Do you know better than that?
- What did you think you are doing?
- Get your brother out of that headlock, you are dangerous!
- Go to your room and think about what you were doing.
- You are such a bad boy.
- You will be good for nothing the way you keep going.
The voices of our parents and primary caregivers were completely taken as true by us when we were little because little kids up until age 8 don’t have a filter.
They believe everything.
They are walking talking photocopy machines, they copy everything they witness.
This all goes into the hard drive, which becomes your run-of-the-mill brain right until the moment you die. (unless you take charge and change it)
The voice of your inner critic is really the voice of your parents.
But, your parents only gave you half the message.
They forgot to tell you how much they loved you.
How proud they were of you.
They expressed their anger or fear but never communicated the other layers of the message, the fear of losing you.
The fear of something bad happening to you.
The fear of you getting harmed, injured, dying young, or wasting your gifts so you can’t enjoy life to the fullest.
Today, you have a chance to reparent yourself and begin to communicate messages of love and compassion to all the different parts of the body, especially the ones that cry the loudest.
(Where you have the most pain and problems, eg, your back, shoulders, throat, teeth, tummy, head, and so on)
If you don’t have time to listen to the above video, here is what you do.
Get a journal and write down the most common negative messages you tell yourself.
For instance:
- You are getting too fat and flabby
- You are so lazy, why don’t you get up earlier
- You always take on too much.
- You don’t know when enough is enough.
- I am so disappointed you didn’t finish that job.
- You are so bossy!
- You are so lazy, why can other people finish the things they start, and you can’t?
- And so on.
Step 1
Express your anger on paper.
Be just like your parents.
Eg: “you lazy slob, you always drink too much, and don’t have any discipline. You keep on breaking your own promises to yourself, what do you expect!”
Step 2
Express your fear (which is closer to the core intent of the inner critic)
“I am afraid that if you keep gaining weight, you are going to die younger than you should, and miss out on life because you will be puffed and unfit and you won’t have any fun, and people will ridicule you.”
“I am afraid that if you don’t take better care of yourself, people will dump you and you will die lonely and alone.”
Step 3
Request:
I want you to join the gym or walk for 20 minutes every day.
I want you to buy some comfortable walking shoes, stop eating fried foods, eat fermented foods with your meals, and take your supplements every day, so you have the energy to get motivated.
I want you to limit your alcohol intake and stay away from your old drinking buddies and find new friends.
Step 4
Self-directed compassion
- I am so sorry that you feel down and out.
- I am so sorry you feel frumpy and unattractive.
- I am so sorry that others can achieve your milestones and yet you can’t.
- I am so sorry you feel lethargic all the time.
- I am so sorry that you can’t enjoy your life the way others do.
Step 5
I love you unconditionally.
- You deserve to look and feel great and have the best life.
- You deserve to exist and feel alive.
- You are loved no matter what.
- I will always be here for you.
- I love you deeply.
Turning my inner critic into my best friend turned my life around and helped me to recover from PTSD.
Try it for yourself!
And, if you need more support and help to transform your life, please ring my team on 03 64283007 OR click here to visit the Grada Robertson website.
With love,
