Your child isn’t born as a blank slate on which you get to write a completely new happy life story.
That’s what I used to believe, when I propelled myself into parenthood at the ripe old age of 19.
New country, newly married, new baby, everything was fresh and new.
I took this as a chance to start afresh, create a wonderful new life, full of love, health and harmony, living in the heart of mother nature, away from the noisy world and its distractions.
Fast forward 12 years later, and the kids and I are listening to an iridologist who had just scrutinised the irises of our entire family of 8.
“You all have massive stresses in your body” she exclaimed.
I felt crushed.
Here we are, living the dream life, and all of us were dealing with a massive amount of suppressed energy, stress and overwhelm.
It showed up as eczema and psoriasis in one child, ADHD in several others, (not that we had a diagnosis at the time) and as sibling rivalry, anxiety, moodiness, food allergies and more.
You name it, my kids had it.
On top of that, Pete suffered from depression, and I was fighting off anxiety (secretly) and suffered from nightmares.
Looking on from the outside, we had it all.
We lived on a farm with cows, ponies, dogs, cats, ducks, pigs and a variety of other animals.
Our closest neighbours were 1 km away.
On the edge of the wilderness we only had ourselves to worry about.
We grew lots of food, and I cooked everything from scratch, and I gave the kids my undivided attention (as much as that is possible with 6 children, and farm chores)
But, instead of living the dream, I was often crushed by guilt.
I could tell everyone had a pressure cooker going on within them.
I blamed everything on myself.
Where had I gone wrong?
I tried remedies and read books from the local library (before the internet), I became harder on myself.
Occasionally I sought help.
This is how come we all ended up at the iridologist.
Fast forward another 30 years.
Today, I am filled with compassion for the 31-year-old young mum of 6 kids, trying to figure it all out on her own.
I just knew I wanted to be a completely different parent to how my own parents had done it.
That was my starting point.
I had to fill in the blanks with trial and error.
Now, I know that children are born with their own story encrypted into their psyche.
On top of that, they have more than 400 psychological traits that will emerge as they mature, and they have nothing to do with you as their parent.
So, the idea that you’re going to engineer personalities and IQ and academic genius or compassion just isn’t true.
Your child is not a blank slate on which you get to write.
The better view is that your child is a genetic mosaic of your extended family.
Which means this is a unique combination of the traits that run in your family lines.
And, if you take in the larger spiritual picture, they are also encoded with past lives information as well as energies from the collective human consciousness.
All this makes up for your unique child, and these energies are going to show up over time and hit you in the face.
As a parent you might wonder where it came from.
Well, I can assure you, not from you most of the time!
You didn’t design the child.
First, you are the incubator and then you are the nurturer or wise guide.
You nurture the child as best as you can, and provide a safe container for their core self, and personality traits to unfold.
This takes a lot of patience and wisdom, but in the end, your kids just want you to be yourself, not some sort of guru or engineer who is going to alter their traits.
Parents come to me with such guilt and I feel for them.
I don’t think my own parents, or their parents before them had guilt about the way they raised their children.
If their kids survived the world, that was a plus.
But, certainly my generation, and others after me are crushed by guilt.
It is time to put that aside!
Parents, today, believe that it’s all about them and what they do, and if they don’t get it right or if their child has a disability they’ve done something wrong.
In fact the opposite is true.
This has nothing to do with you or your brand of parenting.
Yes, you want to protect them from harm, give them healthy foods and the right input, but the thing is, you didn’t engineer your child.
They are engineered by Source, in cooperation with their own Spirit.
I now believe that your child’s soul/spirit witnessed your conception, birth, childhood and life, all the while knowing that you are going to be their parent.
They already bonded with you from the other side.
They started to grow a tender root system that would ensure their safe landing in the family tree when it was their turn.
We are part of a much bigger picture that we could ever imagine.
In summary, your child is born with more than 400 psychological traits that will emerge as they mature.
They have to turn these on and work with them, just like you did.
So, put your guilt aside and use this energy for strengthening yourself not only as a parent, but as the Divine Being that you are.
The very best environment for growth and happiness is you being kind and gentle with yourself.
Learn how to truly love yourself.
It is never too late.
You deserve it.
And, the funny thing is, once you begin to love yourself and direct kindness and compassion to your own heart, suddenly the sun begins to shine for your children.
I have seen it many times.
Tune into the video below, where I share some stories about clients I have worked with.
Also, remember to book with me for your monthly energy upgrade!
Life has a habit of wearing us down, and sessions with me bring out your very best loving and happy self.
If only you knew how easy it is!
Are you ready to stop striving, pushing and efforting?
Are you willing to flip the switch and be open to receive instead?
I am here for you.
Tune in every Tuesday on our Grada Robertson Facebook page for “Tuesday’s Talk with Grada” at 1:45 PM.
Ring my team on 03 6428 3007 to book your session