This morning, I was watching Cedric the donkey eat his breakfast.
Cedric gets his grain in a pile, and it’s solid, nourishing, exactly what his body needs.
Over in another corner, the ducks get their grain too.
Every morning, after the ducks finish, the big drake runs over like a maniac to Cedric’s pile and starts eating Cedric’s leftovers.
Cedric doesn’t like it, but he steps away.
And that is the end of Cedric’s breakfast.
What’s interesting is this: Cedric is about twenty times the size of the drake.
One swift kick and the drake would be airborne into the next paddock, or even into another lifetime.
But Cedric doesn’t kick.
He tolerates it.
Why?
Because the first time it happened, the drake startled him.
It probably felt unexpected, shocking, or threatening.
Cedric froze, and that moment set the tone.
Now, every morning, the same thing happens: the drake charges over to Cedric’s food, the donkey freezes, and the grain disappears.
This Is How Things Go Pear-Shaped
Not because someone is evil or life is cruel, but because we tolerate it.
Most of what we tolerate didn’t start as a big daily problem it probably started out small.
- “It’s not worth making a fuss.”
- “It’s just this once, I have to choose my battles”
- “I don’t want conflict.”
- “I’ll deal with it later.”
- “Now is not the time.”
These are some of the stories we tell ourselves, and before we know it, we are standing there watching ‘our breakfast disappear’.
Watching Cedric, I realized that we don’t tolerate certain situations because we are so loving, kind, and generous.
That is what I used to tell myself.
I tolerated a behaviour because I thought I could handle it.
I was the one with the emotional flexibility or the endless love.
But now I realize that we tolerate the intolerable because we are scared.
What Are We Actually Afraid Of?
Cedric isn’t weak.
And neither are you.
Humans don’t tolerate because we lack power.
We tolerate because we are afraid.
Not just of confrontation.
But of:
• Being seen as “too much.”
• Being rejected or judged harshly.
• Being abandoned.
• Being deemed unlovable.
• Being unsafe if we take up space.
• Being punished for asserting ourselves.
At a deeper level, we fear losing connection.
So we choose the familiar discomfort over the unknown one.
And the Universe ALWAYS gives us more of what we tolerate!
The Nervous System Makes the Rules.
When something startles us early on, the nervous system makes a note e.g:
- “This feels unsafe.”
- “Better freeze.”
- “Better comply.”
- “Better not risk it.”
And the nervous system does not automatically update itself.
Cedric’s nervous system doesn’t notice that Cedric is now enormous.
It just runs the same old script of better not upsetting the old drake.
So how do YOU lose your ‘breakfast’?
It most likely doesn’t happen in dramatic ways, but it probably sneaks up on you.
- Staying in draining conversations
- Accepting half-connection instead of intimacy
- Living with low-level exhaustion as “normal”
- Shrinking your desires
- Allowing yourself to be overlooked.
- Letting others take more than their share
- Not speaking up when its your turn.
This isn’t trauma, it’s a process of slow erosion.
If you are busy, overwhelmed, and have no time to “go deep,” here is something simple to transform the frozen Cedric in you.
Take 10 minutes today.
Write fast. No overthinking.
Finish these sentences:
- I am tolerating…
- I keep saying “it’s fine” but it isn’t…
- I feel slightly resentful about…
- I wish this would stop…
Now circle just one.
Not the biggest.
Just the one that drains the most energy.
Next Step (No Drama Required)
Ask yourself:
What is the smallest boundary I could introduce?
Not a confrontation or a complete life overhaul.
Just a micro-shift.
Examples:
- Start without the late person.
- End the call sooner.
- Say “I can’t do that this week.”
- Go to bed 30 minutes earlier.
- Clear one drawer.
- Block one hour for yourself.
You do not need to kick the duck.
You just need to move your grain.
Then Do This (2 Minutes Only)
Sit quietly.
Place your hand on your body where you feel tension.
Take five slow breaths.
And say internally: “I no longer need to tolerate this.”
Let your spine lengthen slightly.
Stand half a step taller.
That is how power re-enters the body, without drama.
One Question to Keep With You
Where am I stronger than I am admitting to?
Cedric will figure it out in his own time and so will you.
And when you stop tolerating what drains you life adjusts.
Because the Universe is not cruel or callous, it always gives you to your tolerance levels.
If you are ready to go deeper than just moving one grain pile.
If you want to understand why your nervous system freezes in the first place and how to permanently update those old patterns.
This is exactly the work we do inside the Miracle Method Immersion.
Not with drama or theory, but with grounded, embodied shifts that change how you stand in your own life.
There is still one space available.
